Another semester begins tomorrow. I'm not sure how I feel. Honestly, I feel like a huge loser most of the time. I've wasted so much time, allowing myself to wallow in so much hurt. Everytime I feel like I'm getting on the right track, I crack under pressure or get distracted [usually by choice...]
I'm pretty much over that.
I'm ready to get to the point in my life when I'm accomplishing things and being proud of myself. I feel like I'm getting there but as always, I'm standing in my own way. Forever hurting myself. Always killing my own dreams.
I've had so many amazing ideas, so many amazing opportunities... the excitment builds and then the dedication fades. I have no follow through... nothing pushes me. I've pushed myself for so long, it's kinda like I want someone else to do it for a while. But who? I don't have anyone. Friends, yes... and I love them. But its not like having a family that believes in you and pushes you. It's nothing like that.
I'll just hope for the best. Try not to expect the worst. And just push.
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